Should You Breastfeed Your Husband or Partner?

Some people are interested in breastfeeding their partner, but is it safe? Here's how adult breastfeeding affects milk supply, plus other things to consider.

Many people are curious about adult breastfeeding, also known as erotic lactation. Generally speaking, breastfeeding your husband or partner is OK.

It's not perverted or wrong if you want the person you're intimate with to breastfeed, they ask to try nursing, or they're curious about the taste of your milk. It's also normal to be sexually interested in your partner's breasts even when they're producing milk. Plus, some people are more sensitive to breast stimulation in the postpartum phase, and they enjoy the sensation of feeding their partners.

Sharing this intimate experience with another adult can be satisfying for both of you, and it could bring you closer together as a couple. As long as both people are comfortable doing it—and barring a few situations that might pose a health risk—you can feel free to try it.

Keep reading to learn more about adult breastfeeding, how the practice affects breast milk supply, and how to start lactation if you're not already nursing. We also share circumstances where adult breastfeeding may not be safe.

Illustrated image of an adult couple holding hands around a large abstract drop of milk

Illustration by Julie Bang

Reasons Why Partners Want to Breastfeed

Some adults aren't interested in breastfeeding from their partner's milk-filled breasts. Others are curious about adult breastfeeding, interested in the taste of breast milk, or simply turned on by lactating breasts. This interest is perfectly normal. Here are some of the reasons why your partner may want to breastfeed.

Health benefits

Across the world, breast milk is used as a home remedy for certain conditions. But it's important to note that consuming breast milk has no research-proven health benefits for adults.

Fulfilling a fantasy

Your partner may be turned on by your lactating breasts, or they may have a sexual fantasy that involves breastfeeding. Erotic lactation and adult breastfeeding (adult nursing) websites and groups exist just for this purpose. So, as long as you feel comfortable, this is a fantasy that you can safely experience with your partner.

Feeling more included

Now that you're breastfeeding, your partner may feel as though your breasts are off-limits or reserved for the relationship you share with your baby. By giving your partner access to your breasts, they can feel included in the experience as well.

Tasting breast milk

Some partners just want to know how breast milk tastes. And, since breast milk is typically creamy and sweet, they may even like the flavor.

Reasons Why Lactating People Want to Breastfeed Their Partners

If you've been thinking about asking your partner to breastfeed, you're not alone, and there's nothing wrong with this desire. Some people are curious about how it would feel to breastfeed their partner, or they just want to include their lactating breasts in their intimate relationship. Here are several common reasons why some people consider it.

Balance out uneven breasts

If your baby has a breast preference—or if one of your breasts doesn't produce as much milk as the other—your partner can help even things out by nursing on the smaller or neglected side.

Boost breast milk supply

Breastfeeding works through supply and demand. Additional drainage of breast milk can naturally trigger your body to make more.

Prevent plugged milk ducts and engorgement

Your partner will have a stronger suck than your baby, so they can drain your breasts more thoroughly. This can prevent clogged milk ducts and milk blebs, as well as relieve mild breast engorgement.

Heighten arousal and intimacy

Some people are sensitive to breast or nipple stimulation, and they may experience sexual feelings while breastfeeding their husband or partner. Indeed, adult breastfeeding could bring about an unexpected and enjoyable aspect of your sexual relationship.

Concerns About Breastfeeding Your Partner

It's normal to have some concerns about breastfeeding your partner. For example, you may wonder whether you'll have enough milk for your baby if your partner also breastfeeds, especially if you struggle with supply. However, the additional stimulation at your breast can actually help you produce more breast milk. If you're worried, consider nursing your baby first to ensure they have a full feeding before spending time with your partner.

You might also have doubts about the safety of this practice. Adult breastfeeding is usually safe, as long as the milk comes from someone you know (not bought online). HIV and other infectious diseases can pass through your breast milk, so understand any potential risks beforehand.

Just make sure your partner doesn't bite down on your nipples; this could lead to small breaks in the skin, which might develop into a breast infection and possibly interfere with your ability to continue breastfeeding your baby.

If you have any personal or emotional concerns about adult breastfeeding, talk to your partner about how you feel. By having an open line of communication and working out any uncertainty together, any experiences that you choose will be better for both of you. Consult with your OB-GYN if you have any practical or medical concerns about adult breastfeeding.

Can You Start Lactation to Breastfeed Your Partner?

Many people who enjoy adult breastfeeding do so after they're already nursing a child. However, this isn't necessarily a prerequisite for breastfeeding your partner.

You can start lactating without first giving birth, though it's not easy. The process requires a committed effort, which involves consistent pumping or hand expression to start and maintain lactation. Hormone-mimicking drugs are often needed in most cases. You can also take some medications and herbs that may help to support the process, though they aren't regulated in the U.S.

Consult your OB-GYN before taking any supplements or medications, and with any questions you may have about inducing lactation.

When Not to Breastfeed Your Partner

In general, breastfeeding your adult partner doesn't pose a problem, but it's not recommended in the following circumstances.

You feel uncomfortable

Some people aren't interested in breastfeeding their partner for a variety of reasons. Maybe you find it awkward or physically uncomfortable, you don't like the idea of sexualizing the practice, or you feel worn out from nursing your baby. Whatever is causing the reluctance, you should never feel pressured to do something that you don't want to do. Talk to your partner about your feelings and see if you can find a solution you'll both enjoy.

You have pain

If you're experiencing sore breasts, your nipples are very sensitive, or you have a painful let-down reflex, adult breastfeeding may hurt. The strength of an adult's suck can be even more painful than that of a baby.

Your have oversupply issues

If your breasts are engorged, nursing your partner may feel like a relief. However, the extra feeding sessions can cause your body to produce even more breast milk, which can be troublesome if you already have an overabundant milk supply.

You have HIV or an infectious disease

HIV and other infectious diseases can enter your breast milk and pass on to your partner. Some sexually transmitted diseases, including herpes and syphilis, can also spread through breastfeeding if you have active sores on your breasts, nipples, or areola. Your partner should be aware of any risks involved.

Your partner has an infection or virus

If your partner has a health issue—especially one that's transmitted through the mouth—they can give it to you and your baby through contact at the breast. Don't breastfeed your partner if they have a contagious infection or virus.

You or your baby has thrush

A yeast infection can pass quickly to your partner and back to you from breastfeeding. If you, your child, or your partner develop any signs of thrush—like a burning sensation around your nipple or white patches around the baby's mouth—call your doctor. You should all receive treatment as soon as possible.

You're pregnant and high risk

If you're pregnant with multiples, you've had a previous miscarriage, or you have a history of preterm labor, talk to your doctor about safe levels of stimulation at the breast. There's some evidence that breast and nipple stimulation can lead to uterine contractions and early labor, so you may want to hold off on adult breastfeeding if your pregnancy is considered high-risk.

Key Takeaways

While the practice isn't commonly discussed, some people enjoy adult breastfeeding. You might want to experiment with this practice for many reasons, though you might also find it uncomfortable. There aren't major health concerns in most cases, so if you're intrigued, free to try breastfeeding your husband or partner.

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Sources
Parents uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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